Tuesday, 28 August 2018

My Horoscope | 27th Aug


"You spend so much time searching outside yourself for answers — as though truth can only be found hidden among other people, as though it must be chased down, captured, mid-flight. You’ve moved through the world with attention and care, and you’ve gathered so much information already. Some truths do still live in the world outside you, but by now, you don’t need to keep searching for them. This is a week for looking to the feelings that live in your body, the stories you already know."

The Cut

I don't have the words to say how much this resonated with me. I am someone who constantly searching for 'more'; and why shouldn't I? The world can feel so small and cruel sometimes, surely everyone must reach a point where they look for something better, something 'more'. I refuse to accept that the mundane is the best we get out of life. I refuse to accept that all life is about is merely getting up and going to work, sitting at a desk for 9 hours, returning home and sleeping, only to do it all again - I will NOT accept that this is what life is.

But, in equal measure, I have realised how important it can be to stop and reflect on how far you have come and be proud of the steps you have taken, no matter how small. Living is no small feat.

Perhaps we should all just take a beat, find a seat outside and breathe. For now at least, you'll find me at my desk, grafting for a better future filled with more adventure, imagining instead I'm back in this chair, at home, dreaming of a better tomorrow.

Jeans, Topshop, £42 | T-shirt, Topshop, £10 | Trainers, River Island (sold out) - alternatives: Topshop, £39 |

*This post was not sponsored or affiliated in any way, and all views and opinions are my own*

Friday, 13 July 2018


Being classed as a member of ‘The Generation of Immediate Gratification’ has never rung more true to me in life than right now. It seems that my peers and I will gladly rent ourselves through to retirement in order to avoid being tied down and financially committing to somewhere that we can’t afford the deposit in the first place, and will only leave in a year’s time anyway when we piss off backpacking. Right now, for example, I’m in an entry-level job, despite my skills and experience, and I am starting at the bottom with a wage to match that doesn’t quite meet the cost of living in London (with my wannabe lifestyle choices anyway). So - rather than save up for a fancy car that I’ll actually never use, or a house that I’ll relocate from because I’m “terrified of commitment”, I’ll happily buy myself a new pair of trainers and feel fancy in those whilst I enjoy my avocado on toast; about the only thing at this moment in time that brings me a sense of success. Because as the old saying goes, you know you’ve made it when you’re able to do brunch – right? 
I don’t actually know where this whole avocado tag comes from to be completely honest – I suppose a summary or an example of how we Millennial’s frivolously spend our money and concentrate on living in the now, rather than saving some dream that, let’s face it, is most likely unattainable. I’m convinced that the older generation see all us young’uns as people with the bank balance of the entire cast of Made in Chelsea combined. When instead, I just don’t need a fancy hunk of metal with lights and four wheels to display my wealth like the older generation perhaps did. I’m a 20-something living in the era of immediate gratification, and since I can’t immediately get gratification out of just about anything else in life, let me God damn live and ENJOY INSTAGRAMMING THIS BRUNCH I CANT AFFORD. 
Maybe this is also why they’re so damn convinced that we don’t ‘care’ about anything these days. Actually, I just want to shout out that from what I can see MY generation are the ones trying to fix our predecessor’s mistakes and bring about change to not only our nation’s, but the worlds stance on politics; gender; sexual and racial abuse; environmental issues; animal poaching and extinction; health care; mental health awareness; immigration, the list goes on. It actually seems that we’re pioneering and championing a hell of a lot of changes FOR THE BETTER and actually, whilst I’m ranting – it’s pretty exhausting trying to change the world you know, so much so that someone could justifiably question why we even give a shit? Personally, I give a shit because I’m damn proud to be a part of this generation and it’s movement. 
I think there was once a time when the done thing was owning a house, and a car, and doing the marriage and babies thing – and whilst that may still be the living truth for some humans of my generation, it’s not something I see in my near future, and I know my friendship group and my aged 30-something colleagues concur with… And maybe that time will come to me one day my friends – but all I know is, that for right now at least, I bought a new pair of dad trainers to bring me a sense of fulfilment for the day, and I guess what I’m really trying to say here is; do you like them? 
A twenty-something, living her own damn life xoxo

| Dad Trainers, River Island, £42 |

*This post was not sponsored and all views and opinions are my own*

Sunday, 13 May 2018

London Life

Gosh, I've missed you. What a whirlwind the last few months have been. 

For those of you reading this who know me on a personal level, I shan't bore you with the details of what has been going on as I'm sure most of you are sick of hearing about it all. Instead, I'll just briefly say that since I moved to London in February I've been in and out of hospital and have undergone a substantial amount of investigation and surgery. It has been totally SHIT. And, to top it off, we still haven't quite gotten to the bottom of what is causing my pain. So now it's just a case of trying to find a way to manage it across good and bad days. 

Anyway, now that's out of the way - London. Skimmed over that a little didn't I! Yes, I'VE MOVED TO LONDON. I have a new job! I now handle all of the samples and swatches for a company that design and manufacture men's shirts for the high street - to name a few of our buyers; Topman, River Island (Mens and Boys), ASOS, BoohooMAN, John Lewis (and loads more). I LOVE it. 

Moving down South is something I've wanted to do for a long bloody time so it's a pretty damn good feeling to know that I've actually finally managed to do it. I don't miss small town life - not even remotely. Being from a small sea side town, I never realised just how much I struggled with it's cult-like lifestyle - obviously I'm not saying everyone here is cult-like, but just the mentality of it all, it's all so 'samey'. In a small town, everyone knows EVERYONE. Everyone has the same style, hair, education, friend of a friend of a friend - it can be difficult to really know who YOU are in that kind of surrounding you know? 

Leeds was never really that much better after a while. It's a lovely little city, but the issue lies in that exact comment - little. It almost fit that same sort of small town mentality of bumping into someone you knew everywhere you went; having to wear the 'right thing', go to the 'right' places and avoid the places you might just see your ex, his new girlfriend, or her friends, or even that guy you went on a date with once that ended really awkwardly and he turned out to manage like half the bars in Leeds. It was a chapter of my life I felt very finished with, and haven't looked back on since I left. 

America was my stepping stone. Spending 4 months existing somewhere so far from home really reminded me just how big our amazing planet is and the amazing people I could meet and have a life with outside of my tiny little bubble. The sheer size of nature sparked the flame of an idea at just how much of a footprint I want to leave and the experiences I want to have outside of my front door. Obviously, travel is expensive and it can't live forever - so after 4 months I came home. But I'd caught the bug then, I needed MORE. 

And thus started the planning for London. I guess the rest is, as they say, history. 

I adore London. And I know people say you can't live in it forever, but God I hope I get to for a while longer yet. I feel so at home walking amongst strangers I may never cross paths with again. I love being able to walk into any store, anywhere, wearing whatever I want and no one frankly giving a shit, because I don't know them or their friends who happen to be a friend of a friend of a friend. And I have no idea where this mentality of London being lonely comes from, because since moving here I've never felt more at home. Maybe I'm just an outsider and take comfort in not having everyone know my business. But in a modern day saturated with social media it's just so damn refreshing. And actually, I've met some lovely humans. A bus driver even smiled at me and wished me a good morning on Friday, so what do you have to say about that?? 

I can confidently say I have started my new chapter and right now, I can't wait to see what the rest of the story unfolds. Everyday there's somewhere new to go so if anyone out there has any recommendations of places please send them across to me cause I just want to experience it ALL. 

So after what will, with any luck, be my final stay in a hospital, I returned to London during the bank holiday weekend just gone. And as everyone has been hooting on about, it was indeed the hottest early May bank holiday on record and it was bloody marvellous spending it with my love in the sun, in the city I now call home, after everything we've been through over the last few months.

I've just completed my first week back at work and although I've pretty much written off 2018 as being 'my year', I'm just going to do my best to enjoy everyday of it that I can. 

I'm planning some new ideas over here and am going to try to commit more to this space of the internet and work to share so much more with you guys - if anyone cares of course. Thank you to those of you who have been checking in over the last few months both on here and through the 'gram. I've missed you. I've missed my life. It's nice to be working towards having what I can control of it back. 

Speak soon, 

J x 

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